


Some Kind of Love

by urwelcome_forthis



Series: introspect [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-18 09:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21509014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urwelcome_forthis/pseuds/urwelcome_forthis
Summary: Now, at 27 and with four solid years of unlearning bad habits under her belt thanks to her ever-present therapist, she’s somehow stumbled into something healthy and good and full of love, which is awesome and great and more than she ever thought she would have.Neither one of them ever expected each other, and Lena has never expected more than Kara can give and Kara has slowly realized she wants to give Lena everything, every single thing she has, and she trusts her with it all.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: introspect [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550896
Comments: 10
Kudos: 212





	Some Kind of Love

**Author's Note:**

> There is some discussion of past relationships that don't quite necessitate a warning of assault but do necessitate me telling you that there's dubious consent involved.
> 
> Find me on tumblr @urwelcomeforthis

So. Like. Her past relationships hadn’t always been great. She knows that, she gets that, she deals with that shit in therapy on the regular. (Among other things.) 

Her first boyfriend was a douche who was too handsy and made her feel bad if she didn’t just go with it. 

Her first college boyfriend was the same way, but he also cheated on her a ton and she was none the wiser until she got that thing, had to take those antibiotics, and felt her self-esteem somehow dip even lower. 

Her marriage had been quick and dumb and miserable and honestly no one should be allowed to get married at 21 but she and Mike had and then it fell apart so quickly and so spectacularly it would have been comical if she hadn’t been the one living it. 

And the thing is, like, no one, not one of those dudes she dated, or anyone else she had been with, ever seemed to do things for her just to make her happy. There was always a selfish reason behind everything. A weird tit for tat. 

Her first bouquet of flowers in 11th grade came with a “if you really want to repay me, I have some ideas.” She came away from that with slightly bruised and damp knees and a sore throat and a strong desire to dump the bouquet in the trash when she got home. 

Her first fancy dinner at a 5-star restaurant with a man she thought was genuinely good and kind came with a “aren’t you going to let me in, after we had such a nice night?” And like, sure she liked him, and dinner had been amazing, but she wasn’t _ready_ for that with him yet, but she had seen the bill and she felt. Well. Obligated in a way that still makes her stomach turn when she thinks about it, how she let him in and let him, just, have what he wanted. 

He never called her again, and she knows that she’s supposed to be sexually empowered and she has had those one night things that left her feeling that way, but that one felt like someone had stolen a piece of her and it took her a long time to realize she could say no even if someone spent $500 dollars on her at dinner. 

Her first real lingerie set had been purchased as an attempt to impress her new boyfriend who would remind her occasionally that he was out of her league and she was trying _so so hard_ for him. He really liked it, and that made her happy but then he figured since she was “dressed like a slut” there were things she was willing to do that she wasn’t. But like, if she wanted to keep him she needed to do them and that was another piece of her she would never get back, and now even thinking about the feel of that coarse fabric on her skin makes her heart slam into her chest with regret. 

And then there was Mike, who told her if she really loved him like she said she would accept his proposal and so she did, and felt trapped in a way that only really compared to the night her parents died, an emotional claustrophobia that still haunts her to this very day. 

But now, at 27 and with four solid years of unlearning bad habits under her belt thanks to her ever-present therapist, she’s somehow stumbled into something healthy and good and full of love, which is awesome and great and more than she ever thought she would have. 

But it’s also hard for her sometimes to accept that Lena just does things for her without any thought of reciprocation or obligation and she tries not to be wary or feel her stomach churn when a vase of flowers arrives at her office on random occasions, or when Lena insists on paying for them to go on vacation, or any of those things she does because she just loves Kara and wants Kara to feel loved. 

It’s something they’ve talked about and Kara even brought Lena to meet Dr. Hamilton, to sit with her and understand that Kara’s just a little bit on this side of completely fucked up, to know that things have happened and even though it’s been a while it’s hard for her sometimes, not because she doesn’t trust Lena and love her but because everything from before can be hard to forget. 

And Lena just took it in stride? She said ok, we’re all a little fucked up, we’ve all got our shit, and if this is yours that’s fine. We’ll figure it out, I’m not going anywhere, and Kara cried, and it was a whole ordeal but still. 

Lena has let her set the pace from the beginning. Let Kara be the one who kissed her first, let Kara be the one who finally decided she was ready for more, and invited Lena to stay the night. 

It’s Lena who constantly checks in with her during sex to make sure what she’s doing is ok and making sure Kara always has a word no matter how vanilla the sex may be that night so that if it gets too much it can stop, no pressure, no questions asked. 

It took Kara, like, three weeks after she figured it out herself to finally tell Lena she loved her, was in love with her, and Lena just smiled and said, “I know.” And then, “I love you too.” 

And when Kara’s boss tore into her one day, for no real reason, and told her she would never amount to anything and all that stuff a shitty boss says when they’ve picked an employee to eviscerate, Lena held her while she cried even though Kara felt stupid about being so upset. 

She’s not sure, but she’s pretty sure it was Lena who called Cat Grant and had the man fired and blackballed from the entire industry and now she has a boss who’s a hard ass but never unkind. 

And like, Lena just gives and gives and gives and wants nothing in return, just loves to be loved by Kara and sometimes if she thinks on it too hard it makes her emotional in a happy, sappy, pathetically in love way, and for the first time in a relationship Kara wants to give things in return, wants Lena to feel cared for in the same way Kara does. 

According to her therapist feeling that is about as big for Kara as the first time she managed an elevator ride all by herself or sat by a bonfire and didn’t black out in panic. 

And so, she’s nervous, about tonight because she wants to ask something of Lena, Lena who always gives her so much and lets her take as much as she needs, but also never pushes her boundaries and has let their relationship move at a glacial pace to appease Kara. 

But the thing is, after a year and a half with Lena Luthor, Kara is done with glacial. She’s done leaving wrenching track marks in the earth with how slow and forcefully they are moving, she’s ready to pick up speed and hurtle into the unknown with Lena and so she’s doing something she never saw herself doing. 

She spends the entire day hyping herself up. Texts to Alex and Eliza and from Alex and Eliza telling her she’s got this, and she’s ready, and according to Alex “it’s _Lena_ for fuck’s sake you could kill a puppy and she would still love you” and while that’s a tad dramatic (she would never kill a puppy) she knows that Alex isn’t far off. 

And now she’s sitting in the lush comfortable chair outside Lena’s office, right foot pushing her knee up and down at a pace she can tell is absolutely driving the secretary next to her insane, wiping her sweaty palms up and down the thighs of her best dress pants. 

She can hear Lena in her office, dressing down whatever investor or employee fucked up this time and she decides to just close her eyes and focus on Lena’s voice, even if it’s hard and angry and full of boss bitch authority. It’s a voice Lena has never, ever, used on Kara even in their worst fights and that fact lets Kara enjoy it, enjoy hearing the phrases she hears coming from the cracked office door. 

When she hears the door open fully, she opens her eyes and watches in amusement as the thoroughly shamed man hurriedly walks to the elevator bay down the hall. When she turns her head, Lena is leaning up against the door, boss bitch Lena left behind, a soft smile that she only ever gives to Kara on her face. 

And, _fuck_ , Kara thinks. All the time and patience Lena has given her, all the love she has for her, it could fuel her for the rest of eternity. 

So, when she takes Lena’s hand in her own and leads them out of the building and down the block to their favorite restaurant, she feels less nervous in a bad way and more nervous in a good way. Because she’s not obligated to love Lena the way she does, or to want Lena the way she does. It’s mutual, it’s always been mutual, and she may not have a billion dollars to shower Lena with expensive presents but what she brings to Lena in love and care and companionship is all Lena has ever wanted or needed. 

Neither one of them ever expected each other, and Lena has never expected more than Kara can give and Kara has slowly realized she wants to give Lena everything, everything single thing she has, and she trusts her with it all. 

And so that night after dinner, at their apartment, with Lena looking so soft and lovely and perfect, Kara tells her all those things. 

Tells her how the sun shines so bright now, and how she feels so good about herself, and that isn’t because of Lena, but Lena has helped her to get here. How she loves the life they have, and she’s never scared and feels so safe and warm and loved and happy, and she watches tears form in Lena’s eyes when she pulls out the little velvet box in her jacket pocket and finally takes the biggest leap she’s taken, of her own accord, maybe ever. 

And Kara honest to fucking god has no idea how she got here or how this woman who just agreed to marry her ended up in her arms, in her bed, and in her heart, but she knows that for the rest of her life she will be so thankful it happened, and so thankful it happened to her. 

Because with Lena, there is no obligation, there’s just being, and because of it, Kara wants to give her the entire universe on a fucking platter. 

And in five years, when they both decide it’s time, time to start a family, she’ll think back to the person she used to be, and how patient Lena has been with her through it all, and think about how lucky their kids are going to be to have her wife as their mother. 

So maybe her past relationships were bad. 

But this one? This one is pretty good.


End file.
